Experiencing stress is a part of living
The brain and body’s response to life’s demands
The pressures you feel on different parts of your world and yourself
You stress about money
relationships
breakups
work
home
death
birth
change
holidays
family
health
marriage
divorce
the future
the past
the present
Sometimes stress feels like a light poke
pins and needles
a long consistent press that never seems to dull
firm pressure stabbing in multiple places at once
a shove pushing you hard and it feels like you’re falling
being trapped in a room and the walls are closing in
a straitjacket getting tighter and tighter with no escape
drowning
You stress shop watch eat drive scroll drink binge sleep smoke speed
You want to give up
give in
run away
pull your hair out
disappear
Yet you just keep pushing through
Because you have to
it’s all you know
you have no other choice
people are depending on you
you’re scared
there’s no reverse
you’ve tried everything
And so, you keep going
Pushing forward
You shift things
you juggle
you buckle down
you procrastinate
you obsess
you ignore
you work harder
you retreat
you do it all yourself
And you get by
Expecting change
Waiting for relief
On repeat
Over and over
Again and again
Until you’re free
Or you break
You don’t realize the impact stress has on the body
Hurting your heart
digestion
endocrine
muscles
immune system
Unexplainable pains
Preventable accidents
Injuries that won’t heal
Unceasing tension
Problems that don’t make sense given your age and health
Stress changes your brain too
Decreases your capacity to think
remember
decide
regulate
The mind and body are connected, interwoven
Stress builds up trauma in the mind
Just like scar tissue that forms when the body responds to an injury
The accumulation impacts your thoughts
behaviors
emotions
It seeps out in hurtful words
overwhelming emotions
fatigue
self doubt
unhealthy behaviors
harmful acts
Maybe keeping busy
Never stopping
Always moving
Is easier than sitting still
slowing down
taking a break
relaxing
feeling
Sometimes you’re carrying around baggage
you picked up decades ago
You don’t recognize the ways you learned to cope
as a child
Shaped by your experience
often full of way more pain
neglect
and abuse than you admit or remember
Maybe stress is your body asking for healing, for change
Hear me
Help me
I need something
STOP the stress screams
Let's pause
Inhale
Close your eyes and sigh
I can help you calm
Understand the intention of protection
the patterns of behaviors to avoid the pain beneath
Tolerate the uncomfortable feelings
Reassess the beliefs that shaped your stress reaction
Regulate and stay online
Meet unmet needs
Express yourself in ways that relieve the responsibility
of the part using stress to protect you
Be free to say Yes on purpose
No whenever you need
I want that
I changed my mind
Stop
Don’t talk to me like that
That's not okay
I'm angry
I don't like that
That that hurts me
That's not about me
That one is about me
There's something about me I'm not happy with
And I still love myself
I am worthy
I deserve love
Unconditionally
It's okay to take care of me
I can make a choice
I can choose me
I can rest
Ask for help
Walk away
Smile
Be silly
Laugh
Play
I can be here
In this moment
I can trust myself
I can protect myself
Thank you to the part of me that poked and pressed relentlessly
Thank you stress for teaching me
My priorities are off key
I'll pay attention
To what's important
And align with my new understandings
To decrease stress
Fuel the belief
I am okay in a world that is okay
Not perfect, but okay
Act in ways according to your own self discovered and chosen preferences
instead of fear or habit
Nurture, teach, and protect yourself so your body and mind can feel more at ease
The stressors of life will always be there in some way, shape, or form
You can reduce external pressures and ease your strain
You can choose which stressors to embrace
and for all the remaining forces, you can change the way you respond and feel
You can rewrite the story you live by and form new ways of being exactly what you need
Carol is a psychologist and the founder of Therapy Alberta, a private group practice with local psychologists, social workers, and counsellors offering individual, couples, and family counselling and therapy in Calgary and across Alberta.